Finished my 6 days attachment at Hospital Selayang…A tertiary referral centre…Paperless hospital equipped with modern facilities..
We went to surgical department, A&E, and internal medicine…Actually what we did is just observe…Observed what de doctors and nurses do..Observed how the health care profession functioned as a team..Lots of the doctors heard that we are only year 2 students will give us a look saying that" wat de hell are u doing here? year 2..u dont know anything..y come here? wat can u do?"
Indeed..we cant do much when we are just year 2 medical students..Even if we graduated from medical school and become a doctor oso there are still a lot of things beyond our capability…
Saving lives is the main aim that i enter this profession…Not trying to sound noble but i really think if 1 day i can heal ppl or help sick ppl by decreasing their suffering will sure be a great feeling…But i forgot that being in this profession means that i got to face life n death everyday..
Always thought i got the EQ to handle this kind of situation..I thought i can react calmly and professionally when i faced death…I was wronged..In fact im surprised the way i react when i saw a man who progress from conscious to unconscious and die in front of me..I had seen a autopsy..I had seen dead bodies..I was ok with all that so i thought i can handle my emotion well in front of death..
I failed…Followed a case in A&E..A pakcik came in with complication of DM and presented with SOB..Doctors and nurses all failed to get blood spl from him coz his veins are all collapsed..Suddenly the pakcik collapsed and went into coma..He was then sent for resuscitation ..Looking at more than 6 nurses trying to get his blood from all over his body, MA doing CPR, just like the scene in ER..every1 was rushing and the atmosphere was so tense…
The pakcik’s wife wanted to came in but stopped by the nurses..She was begging outside the room..Imagine
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love ones inside the room and yet u dunno wat is going to happen to him..terrible feeling..Really pity the makcik but there is nothing we can do..after a while the MA let the makcik in..She was crying and hugging pakcik…She kept asking pakcik to forgive her and their children…Really can feel her sadness…she is totally devastated.
After 45 mins of CPR…all the MA and nurses went out the room slowly…Leaving me, huan n yeap in the room..We thought the patient’s condition had stabilised thats y they all leaving him alone…den we asked 1 of the nurse how is the patient..She say " menunggu.." huh?? wat does that mean? The nurse continue saying that they are now waiting for his heart to stop beating…What?? Cant believe wat i hear..Cant believe the pakcik who i saw 1 hr ago dying in front of me..
Went out the room with huan…met the makcik…She seem calm..Her daughter came in and start crying…Makcik tell her daughter to "sabar" she say pakcik wont want to see them crying..dun wan them to grieve over his death..Den she told 1 of her daughter in a vy despair tone.." kenapa datang begitu lewat..kenapa tak jawab telephone..kenapa tak nak datang awal tengok ayah??"
Cant really control my emotion at that moment…Tears are rolling in my eyes..I kept telling myself to stop thinking bout it anymore…I know i will be facing this kind of situation maybe everyday in my future but this is the 1st time i saw some1 from well die in front of me..It really left a great impact to me..Forcing myself to leave the place asap…If not I will lose my control over my emotion…
Life is so fragile…u will never know wat is going to happen to u in the next minute…So live life to the fullest as if u got no tomorrow…Tell anything u wanna say at that moment and dont wait…for u may not have the chance to tell that person the next moment…After seeing the incident..suddenly feel that everything that we pursue is not that important anymore…Fame, wealth, reputation…everything will come to an end no matter how high your status are or how successful
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..Cherish wat u had now and cherish the ppl around u…
